Pregnant Woman Claims She’s Not Pregnant Until She Identifies As Being Pregnant

SEATTLE, WA—24-four year old progressive feminist, Lisa Dukeman, is 6 months pregnant and has been reported as saying the following, “I am not pregnant until I identify as being pregnant.” Operating under her dogmatic liberal philosophy, Lisa believes a human being cannot be a man, woman, non-binary, and the other 54-or-whatever invented genders unless they identify as being whatever it is they imagine. She has incorporated this dogma into her pregnancy.

“I don’t get it,” her fiancé, John, said. “She’s clearly pregnant. Not only is the evidence on the ultrasound, but it’s physically obvious, too! After all, she is six months pregnant. How can you deny that?” John has always supported Lisa with her liberal and feminist agendas, believing also in the idealism that a person can identify as whatever gender—and even species—they want. After his fiancé’s identity claims, John has been questioning his own liberal belief system. Seeking answers, he brought Lisa to a psychologist.

“Lisa is suffering from a delusion,” Dr. Smith concluded. “The definition of a delusion is a false belief held with the conviction that it is true despite evidence that invalidates their truth. Scientifically speaking, Lisa is pregnant. This fact invalidates her belief that she is not pregnant. The fact that she indefatigably believes she’s not pregnant until she ‘identifies’ as being pregnant is sheer proof she’s suffering with a delusion. Indeed, this is true of all progressives who believe there are more than two genders despite centuries of scientific evidence to invalidate their unfounded claims.”

Lisa has been admitted to a psych ward to help cure her of this delusion. Now conservative, John commented, “Hopefully she becomes cured of her delusional liberal ideologies in the process.”

This is a satire.

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